The Ralph Crow Affair

The inciting incident takes place one afternoon (let's say in March because I am not sure) in Pasadena, California, in 2013.

Tere parallel-parks her SUV on Colorado Boulevard in the Old Pasadena shopping district. She shops for incense and miscellaneous Buddhist items. (Having just converted, she is zealous in her piety.) When the shopper returns to her car, she hears a sound from the pavement, near her right front bumper.

A crow flaps its wing trying to fly. The other wing is damaged as is its head and one leg. Most likely, the bird has been clipped by a car. (We will never know, because birds can't speak, and no one left a note admitting to the accident/crime...We will never know which...)  Tere picks up the bird, ever so gently, and takes it to the safety of her car. She places the crow on the front seat and covers it with a blanket--a noble gesture to be sure.

On the way to the animal hospital is when things take an odd turn. By the time she arrives, she has named the crow Ralph and become his mother, taking on full responsibility for this stranger's life. (Someone has to do it.) She has built an entire backstory around the bird and its trauma. She carries on a one-sided conversation with Ralph as she drives him to safety.

Once at the animal hospital, she tells her story and waits for the doctor. While she waits, she calls her husband (my son) to tell him the situation and the costs that will be incurred. Since he is the only one working, this expense will fall upon him.

While this is going on, I am making my trek from Arizona to California to spend a few days with Chris and family (Tere and her childhood nanny, Po, who is visiting from Mexico).

Tere tells me all about Ralph as I drive through California traffic. I try to show the proper amount of concern because Tere insists that everyone think like she does. She is upset with Chris. I can hardly wait to hear her reason.

"I called him at work and told him about Ralph and that the doctor needed to run some tests. The initial fee is fifty dollars and he didn't want to okay it."

I agree with my son, but don't dare speak my mind, even over the phone.

I arrive at the residence in Ramirez Canyon (Malibu) before Chris gets home from work. Tere is waiting by the phone to hear the latest update. She is very upset with Chris and lets me know about it, forgetting who she is speaking with.

"Ralph needs brain surgery and Chris says no. I can't believe how heartless he is being!"

"How much was it going to be?" I ask, cautiously.

"Five hundred dollars and he said no! Ralph will die without it."

It is sad since Ralph is now a part of the family and all. I almost ask if giving blood would help, but think better of it.

Just then, Chris's truck pulls into the driveway. Great timing.

We say our hellos. Well, Tere shuns him but Po and I (and Nova, the disabled dog in the wheeled gizmo. Another story or two for another time) greet him warmly.

Tere sits by the phone after we get back from dinner (Tere doesn't cook). Finally, after not getting a callback, she calls the animal hospital the next morning. Ralph died during the night and they didn't think to call her being it was a crow and not really her crow.

Well,  she goes absolutely hysterical. Chris missed it because he had already left for work (lucky him). I don't know how to console her being her reaction is way too over-the-top to be rational. I hug her a bit and stroke her hair.  Po hugs her and consoles her for the entire day as Tere reminisces (mostly in Spanish with Po)  about her dear friend, Ralph, and his demise.

Well, I realize now it was all more than likely a test to see what I would do, how much consolation I would give her in any given instance. I failed the test.

I know that now because of what happened shortly thereafter. But that is also another story for another time.


Notes:

My reaction was the catalyst for her to dismiss me from their lives. YES!